song of the day: the bird and the worm, owl city

sorry i haven't had much to say on fashion or beauty as of late. even though i've stayed with my commitment to never take a day off style, my outfits have been a lot simpler in recent days. (although i will put up pictures soon of the aforementioned french connection dress!) but this is something i've really been mulling over in the last couple days, and i realized i had no place to publish it. but i mean, all that i believe is as much a part of my style as anything else, so why not? here's what's on my mind.

as i was thinking about school, and everything else i'd taken on this year. i've only ever been thinking about what i can do to make it through. i mean, i though it all figured out when i was reminded of this verse: "i can do all things through christ who strengthens me." (phillipians 4.13)

i wrote it down in my agenda and made it my mantra for the last couple weeks. but in my typical self-absorbed fashion, i only focused on the first part: i can do all things. i can do 23 hours of school, 16 hours of church stuff and 10 hours of work cause the bible says i can. makes me sound like i could be superwoman or something.

i didn't even realize i'd totally manipulated the verse until a few days ago. when i went to read it again and i realized that it isn't just a line, that's not all that paul said while he was writing his letter to the people of philipi. so often i take bible verses completely out of context when it wouldn't make sense to do that anywhere else. like if you opened up a random book, took one sentence out of it and tried to live your life by it, it would seem completely ludicrous. and yet that's what i did.

so i read the whole chapter twice (it's not that long) and it's got some really great stuff. it touches on being humble, working joyfully, pressing on towards goals, though not in the way i thought it would. phillipians four, contrary to what i thought, isn't offering advice on why people are strong. it's not so much a pep talk not for me, but for god. it starts off by thanking god for all he's done and who he is. it's an argument for why god has given paul everything he needs. quite obviously, it's the latter, not the former part of verse 13 thats the important part. and check the message translation:

12 i've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. 13whatever i have, wherever i am, i can make it through anything in the one who makes me who i am.

kinda puts a new spin on things. i look less like superwoman and more like myself. usually, i tend to ignore these, but today i checked out the accompanying verse my bible tucked in at the end there. “my grace is all you need. my power works best in weakness.” so now i am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of christ can work through me.(2 corinthians 12:9b, NLT)

so i will not complain, but boast in my inadequacy. i'll do it right now. i know that between taking first, second and third year courses on a major i've just switched to, and leading a youth choir (something that i know nothing about) i'm in WAY over my head here. but i'm warming up to the idea that even despite all my to-do lists, organizers and freaking out, god's already got this.

i feel, or rather i know, that god's been behind all the decisions i've made. like calling me into communication studies, and telling me that yes, those four extra hours a week doing youth choir are what i need to be doing right now. so i don't know what i would even think that he would just abandon me now. even if you don't believe in god per se, i feel like when things get stressful we seem to forget we're never completely on your our own. it is so like our culture to muscle through things by ourselves. you know?

but for me, i'm proud to say i am unable to handle all of this on my own, and i'm super glad i don't have to. anyway, that's all for now. the textbooks are calling!

xoxo
-B.

got the picture from here.