Tuesday, November 24, 2009

song of the day: love songs, anjulie

how are you doing? how's your week going so far? hope your tuesday is treating you well. don't have much time again today, just sharing my beauty obsessions as of late.

bright eyes

lately i've been skipping eyeliner altogether, instead i've been dabbing a light eyeshadow in the corners of my eyes for a look that widens them and make them look instantly awake. i just dab it along the natural v, but definitely trace farther along the top lid. and since i've started i've noticed blake lively does it all the time, on and off the show. she often uses white shadow in her corners, but that's a little too stark for me. tan or pale gold just right for darker skin tones. silver's also really cool for a night look. add a swipe of mascara, and i'm good to go!

madison mauve
at first, i wasn't so ecstatic that maybelline revamped their entire lipstick line earlier this year. the first two i tried were flops. but i finally found a plum that works for me. it's good to wear or stain. i don't care too much for the smell, but i love that it lasts forever. (pardon my bizarre expression in the photo, what's important here is the lipstick, not how deliriously happy i was at my birthday party.)


essie
remember way back when i was talking about matte nails? i'm officially a believer. i bought the matte about you top coat and i haven't stopped using it since. although, i think half the fun might be watching it change. i also got mint green candy apple and it's one of my favourite colours of the season. my tips? apply a good basecoat, because you can't put top coat on a matte nail. also, make sure the nail is completely dry before applying the matte topcoat.

that's all for now. but i'd love to know, what's on your nails right now?

xoxo
-B.

Monday, November 16, 2009

song of the day: waking up in vegas, katy perry

some days i'm just so happy i don't even know what to do with myself. today is one such day! heyhey! so i apologize profusely for the lack of regular posting. my life has been RIDICULOUSLY busy, but i am truly loving every minute of it. i managed to cram a whole lot of awesome into what should have been just an average weekend. a lot of singing, but also seeing a play, and catching up my cousin, and surprise-seeing an old friend, some bittersweet goodbyes, but then a lot of awesome times with youth group. unfortunately though, the weekend has left me with a pile of backlogged homework and a bit of a cold.

it's okay though, i am STILL riding high on my french themed birthday party last weekend. it was such a stellar night! that right there, is the cake my best friend L made for me. isn't it gorge?

in a way though, i've been scaring myself. i'm a passionate person, so whenever i like something, i like it A LOT and there is that fear that it could all just blow up in your face. (and i'm not just talking boys here, though i should add:) there is such a calm i guess, in stepping out from under a boy's spell and realizing how awesome you are all on your own. or how great your friends are! or in rhyming off the ten things you love terribly about your life!

1) my mom testing out holiday recipes and playing christmas music.
2) me and my sister having the car, and house to ourselves for the day
3) when, just as you're thinking of someone, they show up!
4) that smile you get when you watch someone else doing something they love
5) my first trip to coldstone creamery! (there aren't that many here in canada, but i wish there were. it was probably the best icecream i've ever had)
6) when TV makes you cry, or feel anything really.
7) playing piano or ressurecting any lost love
8) i might like pretending, as i'm speeding through the dark, singing with the girls at the TOP of our lungs, and thrashing our hair around, that we are in some insanely cool music video.
9) 50% off sales! there were some INSANELY good deals at the mall all week long, which was nice? but unfortunately means i'm WAY over my budget for the month. >.<
10) new friends. some i am getting to know and some i wish i'd known all along

i should also add: eiffel-tower shaped cakes! so? what's been awesome in your life as of late?

xoxo
-B.

Saturday, November 14, 2009


"wear what makes you feel like the person you've always imagined you could be."
max azria.



loving that quotation, and that look! i'm totally craving something with sequins, but i can never quite commit to buying anything. perhaps something from the new forever21 twist collection can convince me otherwise! sorry for the lack of post-age! hopefully a more normal schedule will resume next week! enjoy the rest of the weekend!

xoxo.
-B!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

song of the day: let's fall in love, ella fitzgerald

happy tuesday to you! i hope all is well. can i have one moment of childish excitement? it's my birthday tomorrow, and i'm so giddy i can barely contain myself. just heading in now? be sure to catch up on bryce. and the others.

so this picks up right where the last story left off. (catch up on the rest here)

i can't tell you how many times i've wished life WAS just like the movies. (or tv. i've always had this dream where me and my friends move into adjacent apartments, just like in friends.) even knowing what i do now, i still expect the movie ending because that's what always happens. especially when i was on a cruise a couple years ago.

i don't quite know what happened to me that trip, but something got to me. maybe it's the air out there on the caribbean sea. on the 2nd day of the trip i realized that nothing i did had any weight. there were no consequences that could follow me home and i went crazy. that cruise still marks the most outgoing i've ever been. i talked to a slew of people, grinded up against guys i barely knew. which, believe me, never happens. (and has never happened since!)

my friend josie, her family and mine all went on that caribbean cruise. josie and my sister could hardly believe me. and i suppose they should have been the reminder of who i really was, but for some reason their disbelief only pushed me farther. i made friends in hot tubs, i flirted shamelessly, i sung karaoke and then i met julian.*

it was on the second of two formal nights. i'm a firm believer that there are no better confidence boosters than red bras, black underwear and a little black dress. that night was a triple threat.

these days i try to convince myself that someone dared me to sing karaoke that night, but i know i did it of my own volition. (i did wouldn't it be nice, by the beach boys, it was cute.) josie, my sister and i had been following a lot of boys around that week and two of them –brothers – were hanging out at the promenade after the show. josie and kendra were ogling, but i was past that. my legs were moving before i was.

i think i heard josie and kendra trying to call me back, but it was too late. i swear to you it was like tunnel vision. i didn't know what i was going to say or do, but i was heading for them. i'm incredibly lucky they were sitting by the (non-alcoholic) bar at the time, and that there weren't many people in the promenade. i slid up in the stool beside the tallest one and ordered a sprite. he looked over and smiled. i smiled back. i sipped my Sprite. a little further down the boat, a folksy guitarist was strumming away at van morrison's "brown-eyed girl." when it came time for the "sha-la-las" he and i came in in perfect harmony. he laughed, deep and husky, and i still remember that laugh today.

he had short brown hair, sun kissed olive skin, a wide bright smile and deep brown eyes more gorgeous i'm sure than the chick in the song. i forget who spoke first, but i bet it was me. either way, his name was julian. his brother's name was john. i'm not sure how we got around to it, but we talked about how there were no consequences here really understood. for some reason, talking to julian was just easy compared to the way my tongue ties itself in knots whenever i'm at home. i told him about karaoke. and about kendra and josie. he told me jamaica was the best island because the drinking age was lower (he was 19 to my 17, a lofty and mysterious age). when my sprite was done, i said goodbye and walked away without looking back. at the time, it felt like the cool thing to do, but i wish now i had stayed.

we tried for the rest of the trip to bump into them again. we made a lot of visits to the promenade. one time we were on a balcony and we spotted them three floors below and i literally shouted "thar she blows!" (i think i just got caught up in the moment, something about being on a boat) we scrambled down the stairs but had already lost them in the crowd.

i don't know if you've ever been on one, but the last day of the cruise feels like the saddest day of your life. no one gets to sleep in because they have to feed you breakfast before shoving you off the boat. everyone was shuffling through this tired enormous breakfast line, like shackled inmates. i had just settled on a box of cheerios when i heard it.

"do you remember when she used to say sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lala-di-dah."

now if this was the movies, this would be the moment when the love interest appears, and they share a warm embrace or a heartfelt kiss or at the very least they exchange phone numbers. and i wanted my moment, i remember i ran from the line and stood in the middle of the room, waiting, but he never came. when the song was over, i went back to where my family was sitting and finished my soggy cheerios in silence.

and that's when it became inescapably apparent my life would never be like a movie.

authors note:

*julian's name has NOT been changed. in the futile attempts that someone who knows him will somehow pass it on and he'll come find me and all will be fabulous. think i was a little bitter when i was writing this. but these days, as you can see, i do believe movie moments happen. i just have to wait for mine.

so question, what are your confidence boosters? what makes you feels your fiercest? and if you've ever had a movie moment, i would lovelovelove to hear it!

xoxo

-B.


legit picture from my cruise.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

so i've been fighting a cold for a week now. i'm teetering between sick and not sick, and instead of just waiting for the cold to get me, i'm thinking i'm going to do what i can to stop myself from getting sick. there's the obvious stuff, resting and drinking water, but i wanted to look at the foods that can help you fight the flu, being sick etc. i

i'm pretty sure i've said this already, but i'm a terrible terrible eater. and though it's disheartening, it's not exactly shocking that a lot of the foods that turned up in my research are foods i don't like... let me see what i could force myself to eat here.

yogurt: i already wrote about probiotics, but apparently they can help you prevent colds too! just make sure it says it on the label.

red bell peppers: so everyone knows that vitamin c can help you fight colds. but i learned today that red bell peppers have twice as much immune-enhancing vitamin c as an orange does. craaazy. but i'm thinking i could trick myself into eating it if i snuck it into an omelette or salad.
green tea: now i don't like tea of any kind, but after researching all the benefits to green tea i'm thinking about starting! having two or more cups a day can fend off viruses and keep up your immune system.

sweet potatoes: eating them can enhance your immune system. beta carotene - that stuff that makes vegatables their orange pigment- turns into vitamin a in the body. and vitamin a helps treat respiratory infections. now i LOVE sweet potato fries! but my mom says they don't really count.

other flu-fighting foods include: almonds, garlic, leafy greens, oranges, chicken soup.

i actually found a recipe that includes all these ingredients and seems a) easy enough and b) tasty enough for me to consider making! check it out at this link! if i ever have time to make it, i'll post a pic.

that's all for now!
stay healthy!
-B.

hey! got another story for ya!

back in grade eight, my best friend at the time was a guy by the name of bryce. i think the fact that we were opposites in pretty much every way was what made me like him so much in the first place. i loved the way he didn't care what people thought. being with b made me realize i didn't have to justify myself to anyone. he didn't completely understand me, but he did understand guys and that was something. (okay well didn't completely understand them, but who does anyway?) i'm not gonna lie, he was pretty weird too. but he gave great boy advice, he was funny, and he was always there for me. he's the one who kept me smiling all through that wretched grade eight grad. when i asked him to dance with me, he obliged. that dance also marked the first time i had my butt grabbed. i'm not really sure its much in the way of romantic advancement, but it is something.

we talked a lot, but that talking got a lot more frequent over the summer. it was the summer before high school, and i was freaking out about the change. i was convinced the love of my life (clay) had moved schools just to get away from me. i reached out and bryce was there.
junior high relationships are funny. i didn't see bryce the entire time we were "going out". even though we went to the same school we lived on the polar ends of town. i wasn't technically allowed to date so we couldn't tell my parents and rides were out of the question. and at 13 i was still too dumb to understand the complexities of the public transit system. so i spent a lot of time on the computer that summer, needless to say.

now, i watch a lot of tv and love every moment of it. but i think there's a problem that comes with it. i have very little life experience and draw everything i can from sitcoms, cartoons or the movie-of-the-week. i got it in my head somehow that i had to break up with bryce because i was still in love with clay. which, i'm sure was a plot i saw on tv the night before i had this big revelation. and i figured that, just like on the show, i'd end up with clay in the end. things didn't exactly pan out that way.

i don't remember how i broke up with bryce, but i know it was a lie. he stayed mad at me for three months. and for three months i beat myself up for ruining things with the one guy knew me more than anyone else. luckily, he came back around and our best friendship picked up pretty much where it left off. he was such a big part of high school for me. we didn't have many classes together, but he used to walk me to class, or call me late at night. and i'll never forget the time he brought a balloon bouquet and a teen titans cake for a birthday. we were best friends until grade 12 but we never spoke again of that summer. we've mutually blipped it from our memory. but if you're reading this now b, i'm sorry i momentarily forgot my life is not like tv.


author's note: because this is probably the last i'll speak of him, i'll tell you right now, clay and i never go out. but i'm glad i didn't date anyone back then, i didn't have a clue what relationships were about. this was such a hard chapter to post! i didn't know what relationships some things happened at the end of school, and the real b and i don't really talk so much anymore. and i have to be honest. i really miss him. the next chapter's a lot funnier, i promise.
but i wanna know, how do you feel about dating the bff?

till then!
xoxo
-B.


Monday, October 26, 2009

song of the day: it won't be long, evan rachel wood

it's been a while since i've done one of these! i think on the whole, things have been pretty great lately. but, this monday morning, as i found myself concentrating and overanalyzing the few things that didn't go so well this last week, i figured i'd step back and look at the good.


1. my moccasin boots: i've been wearing them pretty much nonstop.
2. party planning
3. the fabulousness that is my best friend D
4. bic pens
5. boys who give good advice about the boys who don't call
6. apple picking
7. youth group: i absolutely adore everyone in it!
8. secret societies
9. skype dates
10. chances

haha. i know i've already been crazy talkative today, but can i add one more? you, my dear reader. for sticking around even though things have gotten different around here. i hope YOU are having a fabulous monday.

lovelovelove
-B.

borrowed the picture from my friend C. his photos are AMAZING. hope he doesn't mind =P

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

because you asked for it, more awkward stories from my v. strange life. enjoy!

(missed a story? catch up on rory, thatcher, rob and james.)

writing these stores has helped me to discover a number of things about myself. patterns are emerging. chiefly that i crush in deranged cycles that eventually lead to disaster. i deny, i become obsessed, it doesn't work and i choose another victim. i can only think of one crush that differs from this pattern.


you can call him robinson. even though I'm going with the one name thing, nothing i could've chosen has anywhere near the star power of his real one. robinson was like my own little celebrity and i liked him that way.


i wish i was kidding about the star power thing, but i still think he really was. he fit the prototype of course, but he kicked butt in the arts department. he was big into drama, and played a whole bunch of instruments. he played bass, guitar, drums and piano. and he had a killer voice that always made me want to take of my panties and throw them at the stage. it was beautiful in its right, but he also had a way of moulding to anyone's voice. in a 2nd he was bono, the next, the king of pop. and he had this way of strutting around on stage.


one summer in high school, i was a camp counsellor where he was program staff. i followed him around as much as i could. i got my campers to fall for him and headed up his fan club there. i scribbled his name in a million notebooks and pined for him like he was miles away instead of three cabins down.


speaking to robinson was out of the question. just like you couldn't walk down and talk to zac efron. unfortunately the one time I did talk to him, it was because a particular friend of mine was showing off a mammoth mosquito bite I had gotten. most of our encounters were in my head.

but that was it. i liked him as a celebrity and as forest gump would say "that's all I have to say about that."


author's note: this is HILARIOUS to read cause robinson and i are actually friends now. i should've beleived my mom back then when she said that a) boys are just as insecure as girl, and b) robinson was great but not better than me. i really did elevate him to celebrity status, and consequently put him out of league. if you beleive in leagues in the first place, and she doesn't. anyway, one more before i have to get back to work.


if i put all my romantic encounters on a chart you would see that the majority of them cluster up from ages 10 to 13. ah, junior high! tempers flaring and hormones ablaze. it was a beautiful time. people were so desperate to experience everything that they'd settle for anyone. still not me though, in most cases. but that was alright. i had my sights set on someone else.


no that i think about it, clay carlise was the reason i set up my prototype and never again strayed from it. clay wasn't and still isn't very artistic, but what he does do is sports. imagine me, at my tubbiest in grade 7 trying to keep up with one of the most athletic guys in my school.


a lot of girls liked clay in middle school, but none as long as i did – two straight years.


boys were confusing at that time. i was against note passing. against friends doing your dirty work. (do you like amy? check yes or no.) that leaves you way too open for rejection. i needed the cover of dark, distracting background noise and the ability to walk away and pretend nothing ever happened. that meant my perfect place to move was at school dances.


i don't summon my kahones very often. so i remember these moments – gearing myself up to ask clay to dance – quite vividly. my palms got sweaty (thanks for the genes their dad). my queasy stomach pulsed to the beat of the music. luckily my friend tiffany liked alex, clay's best friend. so we asked them to dance in tandem. alex and tiffany practically velcroed themselves together. after some dillydallying clay let me slip my arms around him.


gosh, grade 8 dancing is awkward.

a christina aguilera song was playing. And while everyone else was rocking back and forth awkwardly. clay was struck with a sudden bout of logorrhoea. he talked to me. he waddled us toward tiff and alex. he steered us to a couple we didn't know and started talking to them. talking, talking, talking. i still thanked him after.in a way, we both could write it off like nothing really happened. i stepped back in line with my group of friends and pretended my world just hadn't been rocked. (or at least, until the dance was over, i'm pretty sure i told EVERYONE when i got home)


it was a few months to the next school dance and i waited patiently. by this time tiff and alex were almost a couple so she didn't have to wait for me anymore. when the fourth slow song came on and i was tired of pretending to do something i thought about going over to him. kelly clarkson gently pointed out that "some people wait a life time for a moment like this." and i was tired of waiting.


he said yes. and this i think is the time i hope to never forget. if i think hard enough, i still remember what it's like to be held. to stare out over clay's shoulder and be convinced absolutely nothing was wrong with the world. to smell his adidas cologne and fresh laundry: to feel goose bumps absolutely everywhere when our cheeks touched, if only for a second.


i tried to talk myself out of liking clay shortly after that. (i do this a lot) but when the third dance rolled around, i didn't want to be alone. i tried to be all cool about it, like trick him into it. i think i said something like "everyone else is doing it, so we should too." but this time, clay didn't seem to need much convincing. my crush on him wasn't much of a secret those days, but it always wasn't known enough to become full fledged gossip, just little grade eight murmurs. so i've always wondered, did he know i like him and feel the same? or did he simply come to expect it?


after that, a plan was put in place. the next dance was our grade eight graduation and for once i was going to ask him, straight out, if he liked me. but even now, i've still never told anyone that i liked them. the week before the dance was sheer agony. i was so nervous i could barely eat. i fretted about it constantly. the grad ceremony seemed to drag on forever.


the dance was finally set to being and i was feeling the prettiest i'd ever been (to later be topped by grade twelve prom). i wanted to wait outside so that when clay came u could make it look like we had arrived at the same time


i waited all night, but he never came. and he was going to a different high school than i was. it wasn't like I never saw him again. i actually still bump into clay a few times a year. i just never had the guts to ask him where he was that day and i imagine now I'll never know.


but that's okay. something happened that day made me forget all about him, at least for a little while.


whoa! cliffhanger. haha. i'll post some more soon, but i've really gotta get back to my homework. one quick thing though, is it creepy or cute that i STILL remember what it's like to rest my head on clay's shoulder? i've got a really strong kinetic memory if that makes sense. (or i may have just made that term up). either way, the girl clay's dating now is SO SO sweet and i pretty much want them to get married. so? who's got awkward middle school dance stories for me! share away!


-xoxo.



got the pic from here, and here.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

heyhey! been a while since i've done this. haven't been reading as many blogs as i would like, but here are a few interesting things i've found over the last little bit!

♥ i've been thinking alot about the friends i have lately, and i loved this article from lemondrop on the five friends you need, and the three you don't. good good stuff.

♥ i LOVE the idea of operation beautiful. people leave notes on mirrors, changeroom walls, anywhere really, to remind them they're beautiful. then they take a picture and post their story. i'm thinking about leaving one myself =)

♥ make your own pollock! rainn wilson tweeted about this the other day and i was playing with it for a good hour, haha.

♥ also check out tim gunn's rules for evening wear via marie claire.

ciao for now!
xoxo
-B.

got the photo from here.

my apologies! my computer broke for a day there, but hopefully soon i'll have a new one! hopefully, you're having a good weekend! haha, and i'm not gonna lie, after i published the first story, even though that stuff was years ago, i still felt v. exposed, you know? but at the persistance of a few friends, i'm posting another. for now anyway. let the group therapy continue!

now i go to a very large church with a very small youth group. which should be good but has posed a number of problems in the past (present and future). i'm not sure if it happened inevitably, or if there were some girls who made sure that our youth group plays out like an episode of gossip girl. there was crazy gossip, drama and girl fights. but for the most part, it's not like that any more.

now that i'm thinking about it, most of my romantic-type issues are a result of bad timing. there's this one guy, who will henceforth be known as thatcher, because that's the coolest name i can think of. and this guy is pretty freaking cool. even in grade three, i was checking him out across the room at sunday school. taking in this perfect blue eyes and expertly coiffed blonde hair. baiting my breath and waiting for grade six. (they put the grade six through eight kids together. i waited and waited until finally, the summer before grade six. thatcher moved to brazil.) timing i tell you. but the thatcher thing is ongoing. he moved back a couple years later and girls still crush on him today.

here's another example. i'm a slow mover when it comes to love and all that stuff. it's experiences like the ones i am describing to you that make me so hesitant. there's rob, this one guy at church who fits the prototype perfectly. a complementary 5'8'' to my 5'7'', hilarious, plays the drums and as a bonus he has thick wavy hair that for some reason has always reminded me of a disney prince. (so why is it reminded and not remound? not finded but found? anyone else think the english language is completely crazy?)

in the fall of grade 11 i'd been debating between liking him. and by the time winter rolled around, it finally felt like things were going right. at my friend darcy's birthday, he hung around me all night long. so i was all set to go. to tell my friends i really was in this for the long haul. the next day, my friend hayley had news too and i made the mistake of letting her go first: apparently after i left the party rob had asked her out.

i still don't know if, had i told her, if hayley would have backed off. i'm not completely sure if she's that type of person. but now i'll never know. timing wins out yet again.

hayley, back then, was not much help in the whole romantic department. similar things just keep happening. when we first became close friends, she was dating this amazing guy, james . he was really nerdy and gangly and awkward but i loved that about him. he fit the prototype of course. and on top of that we were really alike. the same weird interests, the same quirks, the same sense of humour. even now, no one's ever really gotten me like that. in some weird way hew as like a different version of myself. people still say that. they also still say that it'd be bad to date someone like that and i still don't get it. and yes- that does mean we've never gone out and i bet you can tell where this is going already.

though this might not be timing's fault. have you ever noticed that guys suddenly get heaps more attractive when they're going out with someone else? james had always been in the picture but i only really noticed him in the summer of grade 10 and by that time he had already been dating hayley for a number of months and would continue going out for a year. but as i was kicking myself in the summer and all through the fall i kept thinking, if only i had gotten to know him earlier. if only timing hadn't boned me, yet again.

authors notes:

i used to like them stick-man thin, but my tastes have really changed in the last three years. james and i aren't really alike any more. and he's been with a different girl now for the last three years, and i'm super happy for them!

i also wrote here that i wondered if "hayley would have backed off." and i'm thinking now, isn't that kind of selfish of me to think that? cause i mean, if rob liked her and not me, it really wouldn't make a difference, now would it? ahh the beauty of hindsloveight. my question though, is how do you handle it when you and a close friend like the same guy?

till next time!
xoxo
-B.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

song of the day: taking chances, glee cast.

heyhey! i hope you've been having a fabulous week! i'm going to try something new today. yesterday, i was piddling around on my computer, and i found this thing that i'd written at the end of high school. i'd completely forgotten that i'd written down my most significant romantic misadventures up till summer 2007. i found myself crying laughing at how different things used to be. not only have i changed, but my approach to guys has changed a lot. but i'm not really sure who or what i was writing it for! so i've decided to share it here. just for fun. i mean, i haven't had time to write real articles lately. so hopefully this'll tide me over until things get less hectic!

and i'm going to give you the chance to play love guru. after each story, give me your best advice! okay, here's the intro i wrote:

no boy has ever made me cry.

believe they've certainly given me reason to. but when it comes down to it. i just can't do it. i'm not going to pretend there's anything special about me. it's just a fact.

and that's what i aim to present to you. the real facts in my lovestruck and irony-prone existence.

as much as it will kill me not to make my life more interesting - or less sad - i will keep everything as honest as possible. the only thing i am doing is changing everyone's name: to protect them, but particularly to protect myself.

i've never been kissed either. i've never had a boyfriend. so i'm guessing that you're thinking the fact that I actually have a rather sizable collection of romantic misadventures is rather odd. but, it's doable. you'll see.

and the first story: rory.

i feel even though there are a few of them, i should start with a highlight. in grade ten i had a monster crush on a guy i will now call rory. he was and still is my perfect crush archetype. male, most importantly. and tall, one of the most important factors. i have this thinking about liking guys who are shorter than me. it's just awkward, when you're holding hands; in your prom photos; at the altar. i'm on the tall side (5'7'') already and don't need to feel anymore awkward so it's best to just nip that one in the bud. luckily rory was plenty tall, a good 6'4''. he was artistic, that's a must. i do a little bit of everything; drama club, piano for 10 years, flute for 5. i sketch a bit, not that i'd ever show anyone. i write so much you'd think it was my job. (it's not, but i really wish it was.) rory played the drums and the bass, always keeping the beat. he had gorgeous red hair. and he was funny. and it just so happened that we had every class together 2nd semester in grade 10, so i was pretty much doomed from the start.

i spent a great deal of time staring at rory and not a lot of time talking to him. so if he did know i had a crush on him, he was a really good sport about it. he must have caught me ogling him at least a hundred times. he responded well to my christmas card that greeted him with "hey hottie." (a decision i still regret to this day.) he didn't even say anything when i quite clearly switched with norah to get him as my partner when the school secretary taught a ballroom dancing class. (he was a really good sport about that one, and a really good dancer. and he proved he was fun when we turned our "frame" into a bumper car and purposely started knocking other people off balance.)

but the highlight happened in grade ten english. i love my teacher for that class chiefly because she let us study family guy instead of reading to kill a mockingbird like all the other classes. we didn't skip the shakespeare though, and i'm glad for that:

rory and i got to read the balcony scene.

i didn't say much in my classes then, and i still don't. but rory had been reading the part of romeo all class long and as soon as act two, scene two came up my hand shot up out of its socket. teachers always pick the quiet kids when they finally do participate, just a little something i've picked up.

so i got to stand on a chair and speak in a fake british accent while rory professed his love for me below. i know he didn't mean it, but in the moment it felt like he did.

rory spawned a lot of bad poetry that semester. but oscar wilde said "all bad poetry springs from genuine feeling," and i firmly believe it. there could have been something there. but the next semester we had no classes together and rory started going out with a girl I believe he is still dating today*. i moved on. but the good thing is: light always breaks through yonder window.

that was difficult. i've never written non-fiction before and the temptation to make it more interesting was tempting. like a kiss at the end of the balcony scene or at the very least, making myself seem like less of a loser. but i've vowed to write things as they happened and that's what i'll do.

*author's note: rory dated that girl for about three years, but they're no longer together.

they get so much better i promise! but the way that i've written them, like the flow of it, is too right to mess up. i might post the next one tomorrow, maybe even later today! i'm that excited.

oh, if only high school B knew what i know now! but my question to you is, how has the way you crush on guys changed since high school? and, does anyone else find gingers as attractive as i do?

there are so many more stories to come! stay tuned!

xoxo
-B.

got the photo from here.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

song of the day: haven't met you yet, michael buble

i should be working but instead i'm wholed up in the library watching michael buble videos. then i realized, if i'm already slacking off, i might as well be blogging! so now i'm scrambling desperately to get caught up on all the wonderful blogs i've been missing. i feel like i have so much to tell you! i know some of these are super old, but here are the things i'm loving so far:

this post from college fashion about finding and maintaining your personal uniform.
(i think mine right now, is definitely, long cardigans, tanks and boots of all types. comfy and cute!)

this fab article about connecting with your inner creative writer.

interesting article about the vampire "trend."

the post from whowhatwear has me considering pouncing on the leopard accent trend.
(i would LOVE a pair of leopard print flats, i think.) and this post from elle has me rethinking faux fur and more excited about where the wild things are.

according to stylecaster, H&M is FINALLY going to launch a full website. not that i think this'll help curve my shopping cravings any... it might actually just make it worse.

i'm still only HALFWAY through the blogs i usually check. and this is how i've been making it through long studying nights. i'm not sure if i'm helping or hurting by passing this one. a couple weeks ago my friend K posted a recipe for a 5-minute chocolate cake. the recipe is super simple.


ingredients: 4 tablespoons of flour, 4 tablespoons of sugar, 2 tablespoons of cocoa, 1 egg, 3 tablespoons of milk, 3 tablespoons of oil, and a splash of vanilla extract. 3 tablespoons of chocolate chips are optional.

instructions: toss it all in a mug, stir, and pop it into the microwave for three minutes.

granted, it looks a little funny and doesn't taste quite the same, but it sure does in a pinch. i've been loving it with ice cream and caramel sauce. even if you bake it (for 25 minutes at 325 F) it's awesome to have just a personalized serving of it! my sweet tooth rejoices! so tasty! if i wasn't school i'd be making some right now.

gotta jet! hope your tuesday is treating you well!

lovelovelove,
-B.

borrowed the picture from K's blog!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

song of the day: the bird and the worm, owl city

sorry i haven't had much to say on fashion or beauty as of late. even though i've stayed with my commitment to never take a day off style, my outfits have been a lot simpler in recent days. (although i will put up pictures soon of the aforementioned french connection dress!) but this is something i've really been mulling over in the last couple days, and i realized i had no place to publish it. but i mean, all that i believe is as much a part of my style as anything else, so why not? here's what's on my mind.

as i was thinking about school, and everything else i'd taken on this year. i've only ever been thinking about what i can do to make it through. i mean, i though it all figured out when i was reminded of this verse: "i can do all things through christ who strengthens me." (phillipians 4.13)

i wrote it down in my agenda and made it my mantra for the last couple weeks. but in my typical self-absorbed fashion, i only focused on the first part: i can do all things. i can do 23 hours of school, 16 hours of church stuff and 10 hours of work cause the bible says i can. makes me sound like i could be superwoman or something.

i didn't even realize i'd totally manipulated the verse until a few days ago. when i went to read it again and i realized that it isn't just a line, that's not all that paul said while he was writing his letter to the people of philipi. so often i take bible verses completely out of context when it wouldn't make sense to do that anywhere else. like if you opened up a random book, took one sentence out of it and tried to live your life by it, it would seem completely ludicrous. and yet that's what i did.

so i read the whole chapter twice (it's not that long) and it's got some really great stuff. it touches on being humble, working joyfully, pressing on towards goals, though not in the way i thought it would. phillipians four, contrary to what i thought, isn't offering advice on why people are strong. it's not so much a pep talk not for me, but for god. it starts off by thanking god for all he's done and who he is. it's an argument for why god has given paul everything he needs. quite obviously, it's the latter, not the former part of verse 13 thats the important part. and check the message translation:

12
i've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. 13whatever i have, wherever i am, i can make it through anything in the one who makes me who i am.

kinda puts a new spin on things. i look less like superwoman and more like myself. usually, i tend to ignore these, but today i checked out the accompanying verse my bible tucked in at the end there. “my grace is all you need. my power works best in weakness.” so now i am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of christ can work through me.(2 corinthians 12:9b, NLT)

so i will not complain, but boast in my inadequacy. i'll do it right now. i know that between taking first, second and third year courses on a major i've just switched to, and leading a youth choir (something that i know nothing about) i'm in WAY over my head here. but i'm warming up to the idea that even despite all my to-do lists, organizers and freaking out, god's already got this.

i feel, or rather i know, that god's been behind all the decisions i've made. like calling me into communication studies, and telling me that yes, those four extra hours a week doing youth choir are what i need to be doing right now. so i don't know what i would even think that he would just abandon me now. even if you don't believe in god per se, i feel like when things get stressful we seem to forget we're never completely on your our own. it is so like our culture to muscle through things by ourselves. you know?

but for me, i'm proud to say i am unable to handle all of this on my own, and i'm super glad i don't have to. anyway, that's all for now. the textbooks are calling!

xoxo
-B.

got the picture from here.

Monday, September 28, 2009

song of the day: fireflies, owl city

sorry i've been MIA in the last little bit. i am still adjusting to my new incredibly busy schedule. mondays are the most intimidating. as i'm compiling this week's to do list, it looks like there's no end in sight, and this past weekend wasn't nearly as restul as i needed it to be. so before i do anything else, i'm taking a minute to catch up on the things that have been making me terribly happy as of late.

1. baby news
2. bouncy castles
3. when my dad cooks dinner
4. karaoke
5. headbands
6. chow mein
7. new friends
8. getting under crisp sheets at the end of the night
9. playing disney music while i'm at work
10. getting a french connection dress for $3! (thank you sales, discounts, gift cards and winners)

and how have you been?

got the photo from here

Monday, September 21, 2009


occasion: world premiere of whip it
blue striped blazer: forever 21, $10
white bubble dress: garage, $15
red quilted flats: aeropostale, $6
bag: h&m, $15

snapped this picture just outside the red carpet. this weekend and the last i managed to cram in two trips downtown for TIFF (toronto international film festival). last sunday, me, L and A checked out the world premiere of whip it and i LOVED it! it was really funny and sweet! if only i was cut out for roller derby...

mm, about the outfit. i love that i bought that dress and waited until after labour day to wear it.
but i love breaking the rules! wish i had taken better makeup pictures, cause i attempted to curl my hair, kinda sorta. and i was wearing this really sweet blue eyeshadow (though i used it as a liner) and a new red lipgloss. oh well! maybe next time! meanwhile, check out pics of drew barrymore and my gorgeous friends. heading off to school now! have a happy monday!


Thursday, September 17, 2009

song of the day: one day like this, elbow

hello there! it feels like i've been MIA today, i've got so many blogs to catch up on, comments to leave. i hope september is treating you well. mine has been, in a word, hectic. and it's looking like it's only going to get worse...

i write these for me as much as i write them for you, as i hung up the phone the other day i realized i'd taken on another commitment without even realizing it. then i went to jot down all i've taken on from september to december and i may have started hyperventilating a bit. here's what i've signed up to do:

  • school, of course. i spend 14 hours a week in classes,
  • not including travel time, idle time or homework
  • work 10 hours a week at the party place
  • be the fundraising co-ordinator for my friends' theatre company
  • helping with the editing/publishing of two books
  • sing on a worship team every other sunday
  • lead vocal sectionals every other week
  • assist with a youth choir
  • lead worship for our jr. high and high school youth groups
  • not to mention, i'll be taking part of my own youth group
  • i may be leading a small group this year
  • and possibly joining a dance troup?
  • and keeping up this blog!

i calculated. with a schedule like that i'll be at my church/doing church things for a total of 16 (unpaid) hours a week. and it's not that i have a problem with that, i LOVE what i do. but do i have time for it all? (show the progress on my list, how helping mary doesn't take much time, etc) so i scoured the interwebs for some helpful tips on how to manage your time and get everything done.

» make to-do lists.
but it's more than just making lists, prioritize them! i tend to go overboard and write things like "do laundry" or "paint nails" that yes, are essential, but only add clutter to an already busy list. only write down the stuff you really need to do. if i organize things by the time in which they need to be accomplished i'll be much better off.

» put the tough stuff near the top. get the yucky stuff out of the way, i've found that putting it off just makes it worse.

» break things down into manageable tasks
. seeing "TERM PAPER" at the top of your list can seem daunting, break things into smaller steps and tick them off as you go.

»multitask
. but do it the right way! organize things into types of tasks and work on them all that way

»make use of idle time. on your commute, waiting in lines or in waiting rooms, idle time between classes. making use of those little blocks of time can really add up. regardless of how crowded the bus is, i'm always that girl taking up the extra room with a textbook spread out across her lap. love me, hate me. whatever gets the job done, i say.

»cut down on distractions. turn off the tv. put your phone on silent and only have on application going at a time. i certainly plan to start doing that last one. i'm guilty of opening multiple applications when i boot up my computer and leaving them there till i'm done. i swear, internet tabbing is the best thing that ever happened to me. i'll be working on my paper and when i get stuck, i'll quickly refresh facebook for some inpsiration. i'd be doing myself a favour if i let the word app be the only thing keeping my attention.

»set timers. if you've given yourself 20 minutes to dawdle/facebook stalk, set your phone alarm or osmething so you know when that task is supposed to be done. i usually take tv show breaks, and as soon as that shows over, i know it's back to work.

but don't forget...

...to give yourself breaks. i think it's good to unwind a little, to have something to look forward too. make them a part of your schedule, and make sure you take them.

...to be flexible.
there are some people who think that rigid scheduling is the way to get everything done, but i prefer to just make a really organized list, that way it's not such a big deal if something comes up and changes things. i think in life you gotta go with the flow!

...it's okay to say no.
so here's some advice i need to follow. it's like "no" isn't even in my vocabularly! but i guess letting people down after you've said you'd do something is just as bad as not doing it in the first place.

...to stop and look back on what you've accomplished.
take time to check those items off your lists and survey your good work. it'll fuel you to do more.

anyway, i'm off again! have a happy thursday!
lovelovelove
-B.

clock pic from here.

Monday, September 14, 2009

song of the day: the show, lenka
i hope our weekend was as fantastic as mine was! but in consequence, i didn't have time to write ANYTHING. and i do feel awful about! and sadly this week looks even busier than the last, i'll see how things turn out.

1. sunshine on skin
2. celebrity sightings (i saw drew barrymore, ellen page and kristen wiig last night! too much fun!)
3. the front seat of his car
4. dive diners with amazing french toast
5. baby hands
6. the first time you write in a new notebook
7. the novelty of driving
8. catching up over coffee
9. when magazines come in the mail
10. cocktail rings

boo. i'm already exhausted, and i'm only at the beginning of what looks to be an exhausting week! wish me luck!

-B.

beautiful pic from here.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

i've fallen in love with a new lip colour. before there was nail polish, i was obsessed with lipsticks/glosses and averaging about two a week. thankfully, i've got that under control. but then i saw this revlon colorstay ultimate lip colour peeking out of my mom's makeup bin...

here's what it promises, straight from the revlon website:

  • food-proof lipcolor with a built-in, ultra-conditioning topcoat
  • one-step application: no topcoat required for comfortable wear
  • stays comfortable and wears beautifully for up to 12 hours
  • does not feather or fade; no touch-ups required, even after meals
  • available in 20 full-coverage, soft satin shades
and i think it very nearly lives up to all it says it will be. i think it's a really interesting combo, it has a wand like a lipgloss but feels really lipsticky when it's on. it does last a REALLY long time. ridiculously so. you need to give it a minute to dry (no talking!) and then it stays in for the long haul. like, the only way to take if off is with a strong makeup remover.

but it's totally kicking the butt of the lip colour i bought at sephora last month. i have it in #1 nude and premier plum (the shade i'm wearing in the pic). the temptation to buy this in EVERY colour possible is tempting! but i've got a budget to stick to, and school books to buy.

it's super important to apply it to bare lips. my only qualm? it would be awesome if it had just a little more moisturizing. even though there's not top coat required, i tend to stick on some c.o. bigelow's lip butter to keep things soft. but it's a bit of a compromise, even though it feels a little dry, it looks really natural when it's on because it's not all that glossy. i've been wearing it every day for the last two weeks. anyone else ever tried these?

-B.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

occasion: first day of school/jonas brothers concert
chain necklace: forever 21, $7
purple plaid tunic: sirens, $17
skinny jeans: aeropostale, $20
burgundy flats: aeropostale, $6
(book) bag: h&m, $15

you read that right, i am a repeat outfit offender. but i don't mind =) i think this was a great choice for the first day of school. even consiering that my creative writing prof went rogue and took us outside for classes and i totally got mosquito bites / grass stains. (sounds a lot like my first day of second grade, haha). it was still a good day! i got to catch up with the friends i'd forgotten over the summer and i finally got the nerve to talk to the boy that i always seem to bump into on the way home. fun!

but i want to hear your back to school story! what was it like? what'd you wear? meet any one exciting? how was it?


i'm off to choir practice.
later my lovelies!
-B.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

did everyone have a good labour day weekend? mine was good but way too short. school starts tomorrow. so for me, i'm eating icecream for breakfast and watching cartoons, for this one last time. i woke up early to see my sister off for her first day and i was about to complain about how early it was it occured to me, i'd be the one waking up this early pretty much from now until next april! i am excited though.

when i was rewatching the season premier, i picked up this bit of wisdom from glee: the only life worth living is one you're passionate about. if you're not passionate about your about, maybe you should shake things up?

this week, here are the ten things making me terribly happy
1. when you seperate your chopsticks in one clean crack
2. the sound plastic makes when you tear into it (i love new things)
3. dinner dates with my mom
4. homemade smoothies
5. shopping downtown
6. unlimited texting - i just got it and had no idea what i was missing
7. singing
8. baby shoes
9. when someone offers you a ride home, even more so when it's out of their way
10. late night denny's runs with old friends

that's all for now!
xoxo
-B.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

super random finds this week. but this week, on the whole, has been pretty random.

check out this list of the 99 most influential fashion blogs. there were SO many i hadn't heard of but now i've got a TON more to check out. fabulous stuff, really.

i've truly enjoyed finding out "what hipsters hate." funny funny stuff.

i've also enjoyed - and cringed at- people of walmart.

i love all of the new bloggers on college fashion. but i gotta love zepyhr too. check out her 25 reasons to dress up everyday. as if i needed one.

here's a collaboration i'm happy about. garance dor is teaming up with the GAP. i'll keep you posted on that one.

i'm a word nerd. i can admit it. i got excited about the words being added to the dictionary this year. frenemy? why yes i think so.

mission to learn gives some times on finding time for everything.

check out some great labour day deals via the budget babe.

that's it for me. still trying to scrounge up someone to go to a gig with me tonight! have a happy rest of the weekend!

-B.

Friday, September 4, 2009


don't forget to get your computer ready for school by deleting old/unused programs and files.

Thursday, September 3, 2009


just posting about a blog i'm loving lately. i love karen's style and her blog wheredidyougetthat. i'm totally experiencing skirt envy right now. check out her blog for more pics.

song of the day: anything i'm not, lenka

this is probably going to sound weird, but TV is kind of like the second religion in my house. missing an episode of house on monday night, is kind of sacriligious. so now that we're into september, i need to know what times i'm going to need to work shows into my schedule. these premieres are just another reason fall is my favourite season.

got all the dates and info via tv.com. a very helpful feature! and you'll want to double check things with your local listings as well. it's awful when you go to watch your favourite show and discover it's moved to a completely different day. i found a cool site that does it for all the major canadian channels.

here are the ones i'm most excited about.

glee (sept 9, 9pm). it feels like it's been forever since they showed the preview episode for this show in the spring. it seemed like a cruel idea but i don't know if that was there best move. now there's a LOT of pressure for the show to be good. but i'm pretty sure i'll stick this one out for the whole season.



house (sept 21, 8pm ) have you been following house/seen the previews for this? i was hoping the tail end of this season would just be someone's horrible dream! but apparently not so. this whole mental hospital thing is going to seriously set back my "huddy" plans though.



gossip girl (sept 14, 9pm). to be perfectly honest, this is not my type of show. but after two seasons, i know i would not miss a single juicy episode. it's so addictive >.<





wow! it was hard to pick just three. here are the other premieres i won't be missing, i've put links to the newer/lesser known ones.

fringe (sept 17, 9pm. i can not WAIT for this show to come back, but i'm not happy about the time slot. thursday is a cutthroat night)
bones (sept 17, 8pm), the office (sept 17, 9pm)
the beautiful life (sept 16, 9pm)
heroes (sept 21, 8pm),
smallville (sept 25, 8pm. not looking good this is like the burial ground.)
snl (sept 26, 11:30pm. megan fox is apparently hosting the premier. odd choice, she doesn't strike me as funny),
ncis (sept 22, 8pm),
the mentalist (sept 22, 8pm. who doesn't need more simon baker in their lives? this tuesday time slot is only for canadian channels, and will change in october).
flash forward (sept 24, 8pm),
lie to me (sept 28, 8pm),
the jay leno show (sept 14, 10pm),
v (nov 3, 8pm),
community (oct 8, 8pm),

i have NO idea how i'm going to fit all this in. my friend T says i could always just give up on sleep. that's what he does. anyone else as serious about tv as i am? anyone else cry during the writer's strike? no? okay. that's cool. i know, my tastes are ALL over this place. so for you, what's that tv show you will not miss?


-B.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

you know what's weird? i make resolutions at pretty much all the time, except at new year's. too busy having fun. haha. but every school year, i always keep in mind a few things that i want to do. i'm actually really excited to start my third year. i've finally switched my major to something i LOVE and i can't wait to start my courses. but at the same time, i'm feeling the pressure to do well because my parents weren't too happy about the switch.

here's what i'm looking to take on this year.

  • eat breakfast. how many times have i heard about the benefits of eating breakfast? and felt it for myself? when i eat breakfast, i don't end up binging in the afternoon or feeling quite as cranky. and yet i never make time to do it. this year, i'm going to give it a real try.

  • eat better on campus. i can't tell you how many times i fell victim to the taco place by my film class. i think this is gonna mean i prep/pack lunches from home. i think that's it on the food front. i'd make a fitness goal, but i know i wouldn't keep it.

  • make new friends. saying that aloud takes me right back to second grade. (check me out on my first day, at right) but i mean it. as i said, i am switching my major, and even though i'm staying at the same school, it's a completely different program and a completely different campus. it's like coming super late to a party. everyone will already know everyone else, but i will fight my urge to fade into the backgroud. in a dream world, i'd join a club or something, but i really don't have the time.

  • stick to my budget. i finally tabulated what i spent for the month of august. i was far, far from the goal i set. but i did take a sizable chunk out of my visa debt! i need to do even better in the months to come though.

  • make time for everything. i think i'm pretty organized, but i'm awful with time management. there's a lot i plan to do this year: helping to get a book published, youth group, two different singing groups, and keeping up this blog of course! not to mention all the tv i can't live without. i'm going to resolve to stay on top of things so my school work doesn't get lost in the mix. i know there's a way to make time for everything, i've just got to find it.

  • never take a "day off" from style. this is actually more of a lifetime goal. with a little work, i think you can let your own personal style shine through in just about anything. i hate those days where you wake up late and throw on the first thing you see and walk around miserable for the rest of the day. so i resolve not to have any.

but more important than the goals you make are the steps you do to . i think if you're going to do this you should put it in a place where you can see it. i'm going to try vision boarding. i'm turning my computer's desktop into a visual reminder of all the things i hope to accomplish this year. (so i'll see it before i load up firefox and spend careless hours checking up on blogs =P)

you don't have to wait to make goal. a and rememer... "it's never too late to start the day over." (-michael franti)

so what are you hoping to do this school year?

-B.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

song of the day: haven't met you yet, michael buble

happy september! i don't know about you, but it's a part of my fashion philosophy to splurge on a wardrobe full of essentials and then pepper it with seasonal items i'll buy on the cheap. here are trends i plan to endorse this season. then check out my picks on shopstyle! most of them are >$50.

1. band jackets. if i hadn't bought a fall coat last year, i'd totally be cashing in for one of these right now. i LOVE this look. i can't stress it enough. it would be awesome if i could find a real vintage marching band jacket somewhere. fingers crossed! motorcyle and military jackets are also in for the fall.

2. leather. it's easy to wear this trend anywhere. motorcycle jackets are also popular. and there's no better way to master girly grunge, glam than with a leather mini.

3. full minis. this season's skirts are all about interesting full shapes and patterns. look for skirts that incorporate ruffles or zips. and pair them with paired with black tights to finish off the look.

4. something plaid. i've already gurgled on about plaid. it's one of those fall fashion staples that just keeps on coming. look for plaid oversive shirts and tunics.

5. destroyed denim. bleached, shredded and distressed jeans are all in for fall. try pairing it with a cardigan for an interesting contrast.

6. plum lips. this is another fall staple. try adding a plum lip colour to your regular fall makeup look.

7. leggings. yep, they're STILL here. and i'm thinking i'm nearly ready to venture out of my plain black cotton ones. they are popular with sequins, in lace, with patterns. but the same rules apply. denim-look leggings (i've heard them called "jeggings" but can't bring myself to use the term) are also popular.

8. over-the-knee boots. make sure the pair you pick fit close to your leg at the top. gapes are a no-no. other popular footwear: (peep toe) ankle booties,

9. animal prints. you can use them as a neutral to anchor your look. they also look cute as accesories.

10. cuff bracelets. when it comes to jewelry this fall, bigger is better. from the looks of things, bangles and statement/bib necklaces are also fall essentials.



i posted this o'er the weekend, but don't forget to check out pantone's choices for fall colours! did i miss anything? what trends are you loving this fall?

-B.

hey there! so i've received an award from little red over at the redhead fashionista. i'm so excited! check out her AMAZING blog if you haven't already.


i'd also like to pass this award on to:

Clare's Closet
Lola Loves Makeup
Mermaid in a Manhole
Carrots and Chocolate

and thanks again little red!