Original Post Date: March 23, 2009
(song of the day: song for a friend, jason mraz)
i didn't get ANY work done today. well that's not true. i nailed this dance routine in under an hour. i got caught up on gossip girl and all the cartoons i missed o'er the weekend. school work though? i didn't even touch it. my backpack stayed up in my room. i've made it a goal writing something about getting things done, that is, as soon as i find something that actually works. it'd be easier to motivate a rock. i swear though, as soon as i'm done this entry i'm going to start my readings i promise. anyway...
i've been realizing something lately. generally i kinda think of myself as pretty easygoing. i roll with the punches but lately i've been realizing i sometimes a little too much. i was out with some good friends the other day. generally they're great, but there are sometimes where they kind of forget i'm there. and by kind of, i mean they most definitely forget i exist. i don't think it's intentional, but there are times when they have different priorities or other people to talk to and all of a sudden i'm the invisible woman. it's so strange, to watch a conversation just swirl around you when you're not a part of it. and i don't really do anything about it. they treat me as if i'm invisible and not surprisingly, that makes me think that i am.
and i used to think it was all my fault. that i was too shy or too awkard. and sometimes i am! but sometimes it's just other people being completely rude. even before this week i always make it a goal not to let people feel invisible, you know? cause i'm well aware it's one of the worst feelings in the entire world. but i have to remember, even when people are completely oblivious to you, even if they treat you like crap, to some extent it's still your choice to let it affect you. and in this case, i'm choosing not to let it anymore.
-xoxo, sunshower
