hey hey! double post to make up for missing yesterday. sadly, i have to make this one pretty quick cause i've got real work to do.

this weekly resolve is a little different cause i've already done it. haha. so yeah, i wrote a little bit ago about having better conversation with people and it's actually been working out really really well! i said i'd get back to what i found out about eye contact. it's actually an important part of conversation. shows like "lie to me" have made me SO aware of body language lately. i find it fascinating and eye contact is no excpetion. and i don't just mean for flirting either (okay, yeah that is what i was i using it for you but don't have to!) there are signals being sent all over the place there are ones you're giving and sending without even being aware of it! here are some general tips and tricks.

when you're listening:

  • always remember to listen with your eyes. maintaining eye contact is an indication of respect. try keeping eye contact for about five second intervals. don't forget to smile and nod. like you mean it though. someone can tell if you're not being genuine.
  • look to the side. eye contact can be awkward especially if you're pushing through it for the first time. instead of looking down at your shoes (a move that projects insecurity) look up or to the left. especially if you're listening to someone. these are signs that your recalling or trying to remember something about what this person is saying and they'll feel like you're really listening and thinking about what they're saying to what they've got to say.
  • contrastingly if you want someone to leave, don't look at them. if you're not interested in someone you'll subconciously
  • and don't shift too much. shift eyes can come of as untrustworhty.
when you're speaking
  • star down who you're speaking to. eye contact shows self confidence. if you're staring someone down it emits that whatever you have to say is important. people will take what you're saying more seriously. this is epecially important if you're feeling insecure. it'll present an air of confidence that you might not necessarily feel
if you're flirting:
  • maintain eye contact for longer periods of time. go past the normal five seconds.
  • don't forget to look at all their features on their face. i find myself staring at a certain someone's lips all the time.
  • check for pupil dilation! it's a sign someone's aroused. a very good sign. if they're keeping an extended gaze, that's a good sign too.
and this may sound crazy but i've actually been doing this a lot over the last two weeks. in the halls, in elevators. i will stare down anyone i find attractive with pretty succesful results. i surprise myself by getting smiles back like 80% of the time. with more eye contact and better posture. and i can tell people don't think i'm as shy even though i haven't said anything. and it feels kinda cool! makes you walk taller and hold your head higher. dare you to try it! blach. no real time to get really into this. i've got a lot of school stuff to do for tomorrow. do you find body langauge as interesting as i do? do you want me to keep posting about it? i know i'll be reading it either way. night!